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Showing posts from April, 2014

Amazon

It's legend that the amazons...the true amazon warriors...went through a ceremony when they became warriors. They lopped off one breast to become better archers and declare their dedication.
Lately it's all I can think about. I've adopted it as my mantra for my surgery and what I'm doing tomorrow. I've always joked about being an amazon...always loved Wonder Woman, and all strong women really.

Yup.
I am preparing for my amazon transformation tomorrow.
Should probably pick up archery again too :)

I had a wonderful weekend away with my friends, visiting my sis and wearing great costumes. I'll post pics later when I'm on bedrest and have time to kill. Today is a nice sunny day so I'm off for a walk with my luv.
Let's do this :)

Unique

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My GP rocks

I was in for my pre-surgery exam today and I am good to go. As a bonus, my GP has a good idea what is causing my water retention in my legs and my muscle cramps - according to my blood work I am low in albumin. This result of chemo recuperation can cause both of those things. That the inactivity resulting from it has me weighing more than I have in 5 years...Is it superficial of me to be so disappointed about that? (I can't help it. It happened so quickly...grr...going from size 6 to 10 is discouraging)

Thankfully there is a simplish solution: Eat more protein, low salt and remain as active as I can.
So...in the next month it means protein shakes and all my vitamins for me (including back on the fish oils, B complex and glucosamine). I will also try and eat more protein in my diet and eat as healthy as I can. I also have a script to get some good compression socks as well, so that once I lose some more water and I start being more active I can support my legs and start getting bac…

black humour

I was joking with a friend last night on something that shouldn't be funny...but oh it was!
I had remembered back years ago when I weighed a lot and used to comment on my slow metabolism  and say the only way I could lose 10 pounds easily was to lop off a limb. Then we wondered - does a boob count as a limb?
Aaaaaaaand it spiralled from there...we got to wondering how much I will lose from my mastectomy...and convulsed with laughter at how this was such an overachiever way for me to to lose the 10 odd pounds I've put on during chemo.
I know. Shouldn't be funny...but I couldn't help it. And yes...It was. Is.
Yes, I still reel inwardly that soon I will have only one breast  ("just" losing the one...as my doc said...wtf?). Yet somehow this (and a few beer) let something loose that needed to be so I could vent it out through laughter last night.
I need to laugh at it all...because, really it's just so absurd.
And in the end, I'm still here...getting to ge…

The gift that keeps on giving

I have done some reading and discovered that post-taxotere aches, severe muscle fatigue and water retention is common, so at least I know I'm not a rare freak, but also know this could linger on for months. Oh be still my heart. The gift that keeps on giving. I admit it is disappointing- I was hoping I would bounce right back post chemo, but I have to cut my poisoned ass some slack I think. It's just gonna take time.
But!
Tonight I get to go out and dance with friends to a great DJ and I find myself all mopey when I should be cheerful. I am trying to casually dress up (ok, so just not sweats and a hoodie) and look casual still and most of my clothes fit strangely...and I have no hair and can't wear makeup since my eyes are still watering sometimes...and man, from all of it I feel like I need a drink. That or a good whack on the head with a frying pan. (I'm not picky). Truth be told, I will be happy if I can dance a while before my legs relegate me to toe tapping agains…

chocolate egg day approacheth

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Hello :)
I've had a nice week. Got a visit from my dad and spent a day with a friend making costumey things for comic con (which is next week! eee!). My cankles have mostly receded and I'm almost back to normal in that regard as well. Still have watery eyes, but they look almost normal so I'm starting to feel almost normal. Now I need to start moving around more and get more active so I'm less stiff and tired have more energy. With any luck it will stop snowing and let spring arrive (grrr) and I can get onto that.

Today I have my first post chemo dose of herceptin. I still get it every 3 weeks for the next year. It's an antibody based treatments with minimal side effects and will help keep me clear of cancer. (Ok, so it actually could dsmage my heart and lungs but its rare so lets not talk about it, mmmmk?) I am looking forward to a quick trip in and out - just 30 minutes. It will be a nice change after the 3-4 hours I've spent in there in the past. Plus, after…

cankles

So I have cankles at the moment.
Yup. Since thursday I have been retaining so much water that my abdomen and whole legs are puffy and my calves are very swollen...and sort of just flow right into my little puffy sausage feet and toes. Feels very weird and is making it hard to walk/sit and the like without pain. I was waiting for my water retention to fade like it always has with some exercise but it's just gotten more puffy. It has never been this bad, so this AM after I dropped J off at work I popped into see my GP who thankfully didn't do the old "well that's chemo, what can ya do?" and actually agreed that I needed a little help. He gave me some water pills. Hallelfrickenluyah. Let the great flood begin. It will be nice to walk around without my legs aching from the swelling. Feeling like a marshmallow is just.....wrong.
On the plus side he also checked my eyes and reassured me that they should be OK which was nice to know. Just gotta keep up with the coconut …

mmm...cake

Ah. Today has been good. J was home today and we spent the day together.
Thanks to his loveliness I have sweet melon cakes and tea from the chinese bakery (...and I can taste them!!) Mmmmm. Ever had them? Yummy little things these "wife cakes". Haven't been able to find them in ages. Nom. :)
And it is a weekend coming up of relaxing and enjoying each other's company. FInally. I feel much less like a staring sloth and more like a... non-staring...um...rabbit? Yeah. Sure. That works....
 (Shhh...yes it does)

I've been able to keep up with the activity too the last few days despite the stiffness it brings and I think it's a good reason as to why I feel so groovy today. Still moving slowly (and yes the eyes...) but feel like me again. :) This morning I got in a nice 30 minute ride on Spanky the bike and yesterday I did 3 rounds through the following upper body stuff with a 5 Lb dumbell:
10 bicep curls
10 hammer curls
10 side T arm raises
10 bent rows
10 shoulder …

All hail the mighty nut

Yesterday, in a desperate attempt to not scratch my eyes out I slathered my sore, itchy, red, flakey-skinned orbs with coconut oil, took a benadryl and made a giant chicken ceasar salad for supper to distract myself. Much to J's amusement, the benadryl just conked me right out after supper and I ended up sleeping all evening and then just got up long enough to slather on more coconut and move to the bed from the couch. Then I slept all night...
So sadly the the benadryl didn't really help (well OK I was asleep so I can't really judge if it did or not, but I'm not sleeping away the next week).
The coconut oil?
Oh baby.
This morning my eyes feel soft and the skin around them is not red, burning itchy and scaly for the first time in days. My eyes don't hurt. Not at all. They still need some loving and healing since they're still a bit red and still running, but I am ecstatic about this discovery. I can deal with watery eyes alone if this helps moisturize my poor r…

coconutty

Hello :)
How are you?
I'm doing much better. My eyes are still ridiculous, but the rest of me is feeling pretty good all things considered. I've recovered from my snack damage. I am moving into the water retention part of the program (sigh), but feel so much better despite the tight pants that I don't mind too much. My brain is coming back to me and I am less tired. It's been very nice out here the last few days so I have been able to get out for short walks in the sunshine and get my egghead some vitamin D. J and I got out to see Captain America on monday and for a nice walk last night. It's one of my favourite ways to spend the evening and it's nice to almost be back to the weather where we can do that. :)

As of this morning I am trying coconut oil around my eyes and see if it helps with the dry red flakey eyes...they water so much lately that they have gotten red around them and the dry peeling skin really hurts...like diaper rash (sort of?) for a lack of be…

Stupid is as stupid does

Last night in my attempt to be "normal" I did a dumb little thing. Nothing major but I will pay the price for a few days. J was out visiting an old friend in town for the weekend so I had myself a movie night...complete with snacks. I decided on ketchup mini rice cakes. One of my favourites.Real.  Dumb.  Why? Well, I know better. In days 5-10 after taxotere my body is at it's worst and very sensitive...any artificial flavours give me INSANE heartburn and with the neuropathy/chemo damage to my mouth and throat I was able to scratch and cut up the inside of my mouth and throat without realising it until the damage was already done. Add in the itchy, sore, watery eyes and body aches and I was a big old ball of suckiness by the end of the night.Poor J got home to a very sad panda. Yup. I gave in and lost my sh*t a little bit. Thankfully after some proper sulking and a night's sleep the heartburn is gone. Unfortunately I must report this morning that my mouth and throat is …

Slow day

Last month I indulged in super posh flufftastic bogg roll. This month I went back to my regular enviroconscious TP.  Our bums are sad :)
Hee hee.
Slow day here. Can you tell?
Climbing back out of the achey twingy side effects and settling into the itchy watery eye portion of the program. This too shall pass. Feeling more human day by day.

My Dad was here for a day on his way back home from Arizona and it was so nice to see him. He is on his way home now. I felt up to visiting and going with him yesterday for his hearing test and then on a Costco run so he could order a set of hearing aids. He has needed to do this for years! Working in a shop with poor hearing protection for years has done a number on his hearing. I had a great day just visiting with him and wandered Costco and picked up a few easy to cook meals for after surgery and some protein powder for recovery meals too. He left me with 4 litres of mexican vanilla ("is that enough?" !!!) so I have vanilla to play with …