It's a date

Just got a letter in the mail with my final final plastic surgery date - March 14. Phew - so yeah... 2 months until my last (knock on wood) surgery date ever. Lift my real boob to match the fake one better and take some fat from my muffin top and pad out Frankie a bit more. The fat grafting will probably hurt more than the lift, but we shall see. I am supposed to be off work for 2-3 weeks, so I anticipate heading back to work at the start of April. I am glad to have a timeline and know that it'll all soon be over. My doc has said that after this I'll probably be as good as I can get and so that'll be enough for me...time to get on with life.

It's given me a bit of a kick in the ass to decide I'll go a bit more hard core with my workouts and see how it all goes. Being as close to my ideal weight as possible will be helpful for the surgery, since my fake boob doesn't gain weight like the real one does, so it's trickier to match it well if I'm not close to…

The year of the wow

The changes in my partner in the last month have been remarkable. I really am quite in awe of his work, not only being done on himself, but also at our lives. He is taking time to deal with some anxiety and some relationships that have been toxic for him and find more fulfilling work to be busier and more fulfilled. Since January he has been on a quest to reorganize our home with his time that he has to spare at home and our house is literally being transformed. His goal is to have the 3rd level as a studio madness workshop and I am absolutely on board with that - all his stuff in one area and not all over the house? Cool.
Areas of the home that were full of stuff and clutter are now clean and useful and things have homes so we can better keep them organised. He was inspired once h did a bit of organising to finally go through things in the house - I am not good at decluttering. I just make new piles. He is tossing and ordering There is a whole part of the basement …

Ya snooze ya lose

I had grand hopes for the morning - get up and workout before coming in to work.
I failed.
I couldn't sleep so I took an ativan to help and I did get a good rest, but I didn't wake up well. I hit snooze a few times without noticing and cut out my workout time. It was warm enough at least that I could walk to work, but no morning workout for me. I do plan to go to dragon flow yoga at lunch tho so there is that. I'm also a part of a daily arms and legs mini workout challenge from a cancer recovery fitness facebook group so I'll fit that in too. They are 3X10 reps of 3 different exercises that are easy to fit in the day. It helps me feel better.
I do plan to get to more dedicated workouts this week though. I stayed up to wierd hours on the weekend and had an amazing weekend...but realised jsut how that makes me exhausted for work. So I need to reign that in again.
Oh well - new week. I am already finding myself to be more flexible and core strong from the yoga I have been…

Looking for answers

It's odd - I get asked this a lot. 
Some people seem to think that having been through the illness I have I should have some kind of quest for deeper meaning and hope that I didn't have before. Being raised in a religious family certainly gave me some starting points, but I will admit to a lot of screaming and ranting at the sky while ill, and that in the end I have not found any sort of faith or meaning that I didn't have before and I have relied on knowledge to carry my through the worst of it all. My mum had a very strong faith and it sustained her while she was ill and I would never have tried to take that from her - but for me that wasn't how it worked. It's not like I didn't think about dying - and truly I'm not scared to die anymore. With me, now I just have so much to do that I don't want to have to stop before I finish it all. To me clutching to a belief I do not have simply because I was dying and thought it might be a good idea to hedge my b…

Happy Mew Year

I am sitting with my Dax asleep in my lap, drinking amazing coffee and listening to some great music. I have slept in and am getting myself together for a fun evening over with some friends to ring in the new year with music and laughs. I am happy. I am content.
This is life.
Cheers to a new year my friends :)

Polar Vortex

Currently the weather here in Saskatoon is indeed winter. We are currently in the middle of a polar vortex. We are actually colder than both the north and south poles at the moment. -33 C before the windchill...-41 after....and will get down to -37 before the wind and -48 with it tonight at the worst of it all, with the ultimate predicted low of -49 with the wind tomorrow night.
The chill will be with us ever so inconveniently until my holidays are done and I get back to work on the 3rd. Normally we get to maybe mid-minus 20s with the wind...this current madness is dangerous. We have had to replace our car old battery...and it's so cold that even with the new battery the stereo in it isn't working at the moment. A friend had his spoiler on his hatchback break just from him closing it this morning. Yep...It's the kind of cold that turns door handles into torturous devices if you aren't wearing gloves and it would easily kill you if you weren't properly dressed…

Making Christmas. Maaaaaaking Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiistmas!

My family doesn't really do bought gifts anymore...just the little ones. For the rest of us, we make something instead or just eat and visit. Other than some baking, homemade ketogenic nutella, some pepper and roasted garlic jellies and some cranberry apple butter I have made, I have been planning to make a few things for my family. I saved some shells from my Maritime holiday to make framed pictures for my dad, brother and sis for christmas and have had the frames for a while. I finally got around to putting them together last night. I was nervous they'd turn out lame...I am very happy with them. J was a huge help with ideas on how to attach the shells (foam bits and hot glue) and helped me find the sand printed paper I used as a background. I am so pleased with how they went together. The top left one is for me...the rest are for my family - they can chose.

My dad has been lamenting about hos the only kitchen apron he has was my mum's and it's old, girly and very dir…

A work in progress

Hi. How are you all doing out there in interweb land?

Me? Really good. Thanks for asking heheh

But really though - the last little while has been really good. J has been getting some help and we have been slowly working on things and our home is a really positive environment right now. J has been working more doing lights for a local business and is feeling better. I am working to be more honest and we are trying to build a new more positive relationship. So far so good. I am optimistic and working to stay true to myself as we do this. Every day is new and every day is a chance for change.

I am getting back to fitness too which is encouraging. On my maritime holiday I ate on about 10 lb and was starting to eat away my stress the last while. Having a healthy outlet for my stress is helpful too...and it boosts my mood. The family holiday was so amazing. I've been focusing on my life lately and never did post any photos did I? Here's a was lovely.

Eating healthy and gett…

New Hotness

It's my birthday.

My back is still sore but is healing up nicely - my tattoo is nothing less than phenomenal and I am very happy with it. I am obsessing over it as one does with new things, and constantly worrying if I am caring for it well, but I am sure it will heal up fine. It's moving from the owie stage into the dear god why is it so itchy stage.

You would never know I had a thick 7 inch scar across my back. Now it's a work of art. The carnation is for my mum. The DNA dragonfly is a meshing of science and spirituality -legends say dragonflies carry your wishes to heaven; DNA is the language of the living universe. The triskelion represents symmetry...the change through life and a bringing together of  things - body, mind and soul...past, present and future. The gears and leaves are my body and spirit growing and ghost in my machine.

I am absolutely deliriously happy with it all. Jen Lee at Red Tide has specialized training to tattoo over scars an…